The Last Note

Its a dull night. Its a black night. There isn't any moon in the sky. The wind has refused to tinker my soul and the stars look like barren white dots, the shapes of which do not make any meaning.
I look at a snap which I took with you, its a memory. Its past. Is it ? It is so unreal or is it my shabby unconscious brain whose stimuli to you is so uncontrollable.
Today my heart has withered with time. It feels barren. There are emotions which feel balanced but the tranquility within still seeks for madness. Madness to be with you.

Life for the last 3 years has been a life which was usual. I met you, I was with you, but I wasn't with myself. I wasn't aware of the hidden treasures. Living life with you, loving you like daily was just paradoxic. We lost the beauty, we lost its charm. We lost the desperation of letting our souls meet. You left me hitherto to the fact and no reasons other than this. Life isn't the same now, it is mundane, it is the same journey but today it is incomplete, empty and uneven and the last person I always went to was you is also deserting me today. You should not have left, I would have never left you alone.

I am alone, as I sit beside the window, I seek you, I want you to enter my life through the window in to my heart. Time abides you. Time restrains you. But does time stop you from Loving me ? Does time abide your love for me ? I don't know today. Questions I ask from life, questions I ask from myself, questions I ask from you are irrelevant. Because I am not finding any answers to my last 2 years with you.

Today when you feel that the overtures of life have condemned happiness upon you, when petals are lying stray at your feet, it was me whom you cremated with so much gregariousness. But through the burning ashes I rise up and I refuse to lose.

One day you will miss our life. One day you will realise I wish I had taken that step forward. I wish I  held his hand. I wish I didnt go. This is a note from the ego of the love I had for you.

Its time to say Goodbye, Its time for me to leave.

Pic courtesy : Jigar Mehta

Love Life Relationships 2014

Love is a very done away feeling sometimes. We only talk about how much we love each other and why isn't the other person reciprocating in the same way, as we are.
Sometimes it is very easier said than done, but relationships just like paper can be crushed very easily, just like a piece of note which you think you didn't write well or is not in accordance to what you want to write.

We do crib or whine about a person going away from our lives. Is it so easy ? Just blaming a person doesn't help the cause. It is very important to also realise that may be you weren't keeping that person happy enough or may be that relationship was not fulfilling their demands and they weren't satisfied with what they had with you. It is not always cheating, it is also about being happy. And everyone just wants to be happy. But then again stabbing someone and getting happiness is not worth the happiness. Sometimes if you are leaving things/people/memories behind, it is important to not only prepare yourself but also the person whom you are leaving behind (now why did I mention 'person' because it is a living thing). I personally feel it is not fair to discriminate and be situationally selfish in life. If you need time, so does that other person. So learn to be honest and brave enough to tell them, if you really want to leave a person, otherwise don't.

Today when I am trying to realise architectures of life, I find happiness is just a mere thought or a practice which our brain stimulates to. It is the habit that you get in to which makes things tougher to let go. May it be talking to your GF for 3 years and then all of a sudden not getting to talk to her as per your wish, or may be working on a I Mac 27 " and suddenly getting a sucked up laptop to do all your work. It is very simple, the more addicted you get to anything the more prone you are of getting cocked.

Life does offer a lot of love and success as and when you deserve it. We are greedy and we always have this "dil maange more" (our hearts want more) policy.

We need to have faith on life and most importantly God. As much as he gives shit, he also takes care of it too when you do the right things. And as I always say " be happy and content with what ever you have, because it is what you deserve at that particular point of time. Somehow, somewhere people are in a more cockier situation than you."

God bless. Good Night. :)

The Last Story

The night just seems so lull, a very few little stars and the presence of the facading moon seems so absent in the dark sky. A wet pillow, the slithered bed sheet, the empty lines and a cold inked fountain pen resembles my mood tonight. 
A few deep thoughts and some grossly unaltered emotions disturb the unaltered depth of my unconquered heart.

The shallow breeze shivers my uncovered skin and arouses the dubious intentions of serenading my existence. The tears are so dry, that they even scorch the eyelids, when it feels numb inside. 

As Jim Morrison once said, "Death is a good disguise, for late at night..." I wonder is it really late enough to give up ? My coffee's cold, it antagonises my addiction, stimulates an unwanted desire to resist this night. I want to give up to the pulverazing sea shores, pouring gaze of rain, the opaque fog of cloud, the unclustered grains of sand and the sluggish muddy, shadow of life.

I sit down my window, my cigaratte glows in the dark, the blown emburs of ashes try to cover the mesh of pretention on my face. He wanted to walk down the aisle, a black suit and see her so pretty in a white gown.

Ohh !! I am sorry, I just forgot how to dream, coz the debris still lingers.

How long is this night or How much in the night is his life left ?? 
Not so much.  

Serendipity

You will smile for the absurd,
You will smile for my closing eyes,

Realise the distant fading light,

The engrossed glooming darkness.

The crystal clarity of your sight,

The mystic vanity of your life,

Pulverising my sedate hysteries,

Unbounding the rhapsody to discord.

Serenading this peace to silence,

Living life in a distant accord.

The scorching tyrrany of sun,

Entangles the monotone light of the moon.

The groping thorn that pulverizes my heart,

Rattles the misty lust within.

The eyes closing to peace,

The breath startled clumsy,

The pounding heart wishes empty,

Her eyes still keep me tempting,

Undying emotions burns life livid,

A morbid storm entangles me within .....